Hiding below the surface of reality Have found refugee in the hands of fantasy Illusion is what lies ahead Stimulating my crazy head
The clock tic tacs as the time passes away All I can think is you in my memory In my soul you’ve been engraved, deep within And keep you there, odd things between
Can’t seem to touch with my grasp I can’t longer hold on with my clasp It is strange you’re not so far It is shows that you really are
Cool exterior is my false façade Like a pompous admiration is what I hide Can’t stop to think of you everyday It turns out I am already in disarray Your voice is like a gentle whisper Your thoughts always made me wonder Your smile if the curable answer To all these things that makes me whimper
I am embrace with invisibility I have this unnoticed agility Invaded by hollowness Torn asunder thoughts, its craziness
Sometimes I think your mirage, a illusion Ironically you have a different devotion Don’t know when to get it all out in these walls Confuse and sandwich still between truth and false
here we go with the pain i feel inside
but is it real or is it inside my head
i find my self in places with names but no faces
the devil must have planted the seed
now i feel like my backs against the wall
and im going to fall
when ever i call
no one is there to respond at all
i don’t know who to trust
they all scream my name
all i know is i need someone
to help me get out of this flame
all im trying to do is master myself
but someone keeps talking to me consciously
responsibility keeps haunting me
from dusk to dawn the voice has something for me
the voice is projection paranoia
cold swet beading down my face
if i riped of my skin, id probably find a person
there is nothing worse than trying
to bring yourself back from the dead
these words are the simplest
and easiest to understand
they are the most powerful
I LOVE YOU
i want to be with you always
your the best that thing that has ever happened to me
my hart flows like a river
spilling my emotions into a sea
in which the truth is unseen
swimming with the silent grace
to monstrous for light and land
the truth feed on words
the words are the simplest
and easiest to understand
I LOVE YOU
I hide behind a mask
You can’t see my face
Looking at first glance
I’m in a happy place
The truth is, that’s a lie
But you can’t really tell
that in the back of my mind
I think the world should rot in hell
What’s the point of living
If we are all going to die
What’s the point of being happy
If in the end we’re going to cry
But this is something no one sees
This is something no one knows
And yet deep inside of me
This feeling of hatred grows
So even though this mask reveals a happy side of me,
I use the mask as a shield to look at what others can never see.
Everything around me is like a thick dark mist
I know in my mind it’s another life’s crazy twist
I’m walking along this lonely road in loud silence
I can see all the people around are staring at me
This all is making me feel like I’m some circus freak
Everyone is preparing to leave, but I always have to stay
‘Back off’ & ‘Leave me alone’ is all I wanna say
Suddenly there is a mirror right in front of me
It wants me to take a look, but I’m afraid to go near
I don’t wanna see myself
I know what the truth is
I smash the mirror with my bare hand
All that broken glass is glittering in the sand
Blood is tripping down from my blood red fingertips
Tears run down my cheeks as I bite my lip
It starts to rain, and the wind whispers ‘life goes on’
All of a sudden I start to hear my favorite song
I feel weaker & weaker as I fall down on my knees
Can no one see me falling apart at the seams
Those lucky bastards have all got the first class ticket
To my shitty life show like it’s some game
I’m so tired of being sorry, and letting myself down
I’m still wearing the costume but I’m not a clown
I can never let them to get near, and just get to me
With all my problems I’m still in chains, wanting to be free
No one asks if I’m still doing okay & what’s wrong
I have been down and blue and alone for so damn long
I’m just getting everything I’m supposed to have
Every now and then this life seems like a drag
I’m so numb and everything just seems to be bland
Is it really depression or just something else
Sometimes I feel like I hate everyone, including myself
As if I’m dreaming but I cant because my eyes are open
Will I get through this? Do I have enough willpower?
Or I’ll just watch my life go by, hour after hour?
life is a prison
oh God let me out
no one to listen
to here me when i shout
climb the walls of insanity
ride the waves of despair
if i fall it don’t matter
there”s no one that would care
used to wish for a window
to see birds, trees, and sky
but I’m better without one
stops me from dreaming too high
watching freedom is painful
for those locked away
seeing joy, love and happiness another price
i pay strong is good, week is bad
be it false, be it true
my mind makes the choice
and enforces it too
with rules to adhere
if i breach the acceptable
i need to beware hide the pain,
carry on routine is the key
don’t let on that I’m not what i pretending to be
lock it all up inside me
how badly that feels
look out for that one day when all of it explodes
leaving nothing but an empty shell
mind barely functioning
but killing all else that was uniquely me
so how do i grow with a time bomb inside
or better yet how do i defuse it
with out destroying its ride…….
I CAN”T
